I haven’t forgotten

There are two things that do not happen regularly in this household. Actually there are a lot of things, but for purposes of this post, just 2.

1. I never get up at the same time everyday. I could sleep 24 hours, day in and day out if someone let me. Therefore breakfast never happens at the same time each day. Lunch sometimes becomes dinner. Dinner sometimes never happens. It is just that my bed is so dang comfortable.

2. This blog. I really do have all intentions to sit down every morning and give the people what they want, which is undoubtably my witty repertoire with myself written out for the world to see. I know you may not believe me, but really I do. Then something crazy happens. I get started with my day and life happens, insta.gram pictures ensue, and daily life seems awesomely, well, boring. I will not share the boring, but I will share this…

I have not forgotten about everything in the Here Goes Everything series of my life. In fact, it has stayed very close in my mind. As I write this, I find myself crying a little bit, and for no other reason, but y’all it was really easy to put on 70 pounds after high school, yes 70 pounds. It is really hard, really hard to take of 10, but here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good:

I haven’t had a coke in two months. I never really realized how emotionally connected I was to cokes. If I have a rough day, I want to comfort myself with a coke. If I have a good day, I want to celebrate with a coke. The old addage, “One is one too many and a thousand will never be enough,” rings so true when it comes to me and the fizzy, sugary goodness that is coca-cola.

The bad:

I hit a wall. Straight up wall. I knew this wall was here, but I don’t think it quite hit me till I stood in my mom’s living room and cried. Let me first start by saying, I do not think of myself as fat, but I know I am not skinny. I don’t have a problem with confidence. I am of the general assumption that this world is my schomorgesborg, no matter the weight or jean size. With that said, I don’t like finding my angle in pictures. I don’t like not being able to walk in Banana Republic and get whatever fits my fancy(my pocketbook is an issue here too). I know that unfortunately we live in a world where people judge you by your size, for better or worse, it is the cold hard truth. I am very much in an amazing place in my life, my health should reflect such.

The ugly:

I may have devoured a bag of marshmallows, chocolate, and box of graham crackers in a 3 day time span because I had to have smores. I knew the minute I was toasting the marshmallow with a bic lighter that I had a problem. I sat in the corner of my couch, watched trash t.v. and lit up my marshmallow. I watched it get that burnt sugary goodness and plopped it on my graham cracker and chocolate and enjoyed every bit…until I felt sick the next day. However, for two days after that first day, I repeated till it was all gone. When it was said and done, I felt mentally defeated and physically defeated. But just like all the storms in our life, it passed and I refrained from the same mistake again.

So here I am, immersed in the battle of knowing better and doing better. I run harder. I sleep better. I walk taller knowing that I have the power to use my self-awareness for good in my life. So now that I have managed to get the coke thing under control, we are moving on to a new healthy habit, breakfast.

The way I look at it is this: When we start a new venture in our life, college, job, marriage, children, etc. We start them with the perfect kick-off. In college with new pens and pencils, notebooks, and supplies. When we go for a new job we perfect our resume and dress to impress. When we get married we kick off this grand adventure with a day full of all our family and friends, the perfect dress, a cake that was chosen out of the dozens we tasted, etc. Children, we take all the classes, we chose a plan, we load the nursery with every protective measure we can. We start changes with positives. We start them in a mindset that we can not fail. We start them on the right path. Why would we not start our days like this? Why would I not start my day like this? I have to set myself up for success each and everyday. Breakfast shall be amazing starting today. Here goes everything.

lifetimes of paper rainbows…W

You can follow my little adventure on twitter and insta.gram. Username: @whitlgarland Hashtag: #heregoeseverything

 

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