A little over a year ago I went to the doctor with headaches. I would have never called the, migraines. I started thinking it was sinuses. My boyfriend even thought it odd as I never got headaches. Little did I know this was just a sign of many things that had gone haywire in my body and life.
This is me at that time:
I was pale. I had bags under my eyes. My hair was a mess. I was exhausted all the time. Sinus infections frequently. Everything was sore. This was also the realization that I would get staph more times than I can count on one hand. If I had any open wound, I should start myself on doxycycline ASAP. I was also at the heaviest I had ever been: 5’6 and 210 pounds.
For the decade prior to this I had quit working out. Started replacing my smoothie with a route 44 coke and honey bun for breakfast (thanks architecture school). There were days I would have gone without one fruit or vegetable in my body, furthermore, not an ounce of protein. I stopped taking responsibility for my decisions, happiness, and everything in between.
This is me now:
These are the things that have changed: I don’t have headaches, but I take topamax 2 times daily. I got some color back in the face and seemingly started sleeping so bags are diminishing. I am 25 pounds lighter. I don’t “work out,” but I keep active with random sports. I eat only slightly better. I chose to be happy. I made a very conscious decision to breathe. And that’s it, of here I am.
I am funneling in 50mg of a drug used for seizures, migraines, and are you ready, chemical dependence. It decreases “abnormal excitement” in brain. In the beginning it caused a decrease of appetite, flatness of coke (this wasn’t a bad thing), abnormal sleeping, and tingling in hands and feet. All that is left is the tingling I hands and feet. I still have soreness in joints, which is been scarier being that rheumatoid arthritis runs in my family. I still can not seem to quit drinking cola like its a diminishing natural resource. All this to say I have a long way to go.
Here we are. Over the past 2 weeks I have had conversations with my doctor, nutritionist, and friends. Of course the first thing that has to go is it’s coke, which sends me into a mental tailspin. The next is the topamax (which I have wanted for some time), addition of probiotics and subtracting the pasta & bread (sending me into another tailspin), and gluten (see no pasta and bread). This is not to say I can never have it, but for now it’s time to reset my body. So now before I move further, I sit here trying to mentally prepare myself.
I am sitting with cookbooks, books, and countless opinions of all around me. I am trying to mentally get in the mindset to fully commit to getting healthy, NOT skinny, healthy. Goal being not to put any meds in my system and let my body reset and heal. I hope through the course to be able to share my journey and be able to come back here and hold myself accountable.