I want…

I must warn you, this is the dreaded open letter. Feel free to stop reading now, however, know that if you do, I will know.  I will then assume that you hate me, then I will proceed to crawl under a rock and die. Thus setting all my facebook friends into a frenzy as their dear friend Whit died a tragic death of a broken heart and starving under a rock.  

Dear Waitress,

I can only assume when you were expressing your opinions in such a vulgar manor in the back of your restaurant that you intended for all patrons in the front to hear and drop their jaws in amazement that you are very disillusioned and also need to have your mouth washed out with soap at the lack of your class and disrespect you showed for your job, your patrons, and your opinions.  Let’s first address your statement, paraphrased without the vulgarity as it is not appropriate for this site.

“Every woman just wants to get married and have babies and not have to work.  Any girl that tells you otherwise is lying to themselves because of society. I am just so lucky that my boo supports me and i don’t have to work.”

I respect that this is your opinion, but please do not confuse this with respect for you.  The fact that you make the assumption that this is every woman’s view because it is yours is both sad and infuriating as a human being and a woman. The fact that you feel it was neccessary to share your opinion littered with the explicatives and in such a loud manner in your place of work tells me one thing: you better hope you never have to work, as that little respect for your job means you will be in and out of them for a lifetime till you develop such a reputation for yourself that no one will want to hire you.  At the end of the day, my goal of this letter is not to insult you or damn you, but it has inspired me to share my opinion and observation.

I am only one person. I want to find my best friend, teammate, and partner. If finding that in a man leads to marriage, I am okay with that, if it leads to no wedding or change of name, I am okay with that too.  You see what I want is happiness.  It has been my observation that is what most of us, man or woman is searching for. Happiness doesn’t tend to be a gender specific thing. It is a human emotion that is a choice.  I have seen in many that it is a choice and emotion that is not one size fits all.  I have seen the childless be over joyed with their life.  I have seen the single be over joyed. I have seen the married be miserable. I have seen the married be overjoyed.  Happiness doesn’t seem to be something that automatically comes with either.  To say that one is lying to themselves for societies sake is, well, for lack of better word, absurd.  I am not saying that people do not lie for the approval of the status quo, I am saying that I have met a very low number that have made decisions as important as children and marriage for the sole reason of society.  Please do not make the generalization that ALL do and I will stop making the assumption that you are an uneducated drain on my tax dollars.

Now for the job aspect.  I am a fortunate little girl. I have  a job that excites me everyday.  I go home and feel like I can be proud of the job I have done, the people I have helped.  I feel blessed that it allows me to work with other passions like art, food, and pound puppies.  I feel fortunate that I work everyday in an environment that is inspiring and growing. I am humbled by the simple fact that this is not the case for everyone.  For that reason I aim to show my job respect, my clients respect, my employers respect.  I aim to show myself respect.  I want to work everyday, so much so that when I am not working at the job that pays my bills and taxes, I find work in other aforementioned passions.  The job I want to work pays my rent, my electricity, and the taxes that pay for your roads, education, and more.  I WANT to do that.  I WANT to support my neighbor.  I WANT to because this society that you say guilted me into it, means something to me, and this is how I have CHOSEN to make my mark on it.  I respect all the choices women in our society have made.  I am quite convinced being a stay at home mom is a much more difficult job than mine and in that feel one again humbled. It is in the different choices that happy women have made through time, I am personally reminded how lucky we are that we live in a society that allows us these choices.

Should you truly believe that society doesn’t allow women to choose a life of no kids or no jobs or gasp, no marriage, I invite you to open your eyes.  Learn to listen to people.  Allow your neighbors to tell you their stories.  I invite you to see that littered among the close-minded there is a plethora of amazingly supporting and happy women and men that are happy to support women in whatever decision they make in their life.


Whit the first booth to the right, that incidentally had to get up and come to you while you were sitting at a table spouting off your opinions and not allowing people to talk to pay her lunch tab.

Little Lagniappe: I want to get married. I want to have a child.  I want to work.  I guess 2 out of 3 in societies standards are okay right?!


2 responses to “I want…

  1. I miss u! ….and I love that you used the word plethora, as it is one of my favorite words that I so rarely get to use without sounding over dramatic.

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