it was a long morning

Disclaimer: I have discussed this with Maggie May. She has granted me permission to share this story with the world.  She has also given me permission to share her weight with the world given she is a female. Please do not scold me.

My dog since I can remember has not really been bad, more, too smart for her own good.  I knew we were in trouble when I first brought her home. 

Case study 1: My boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch.  We see Maggie draggin his baseball cap across the floor.  We both jump up, she runs faster, still basball cap(which is the size of her) in tow, she finally reaches her destination. She nicely places the cap over the place where she has just pooped on the floor.  Looks up, as if to say, “what, out of sight…out of mind.”  never happened.  I didn’t know what to do.  Andrew and I just looked at each other. We laughed…only to then realize he had to put that hat on his head at some point…gross.

Case study 2:  I have been warned that when dogs are rabid they foam at the mouth.  Well one day I look across the room and Maggie is white all on the lips. Her little touge is just licking this little spot on the side. I thought immediately, oh my, my dog is rabid!  I got closer only to see a tube of super glue.  My dog had eaten super glue…it had dried before she could really eat it.  She had super glued all but one little part of her mouth together.  A lot of vasoline and about 2 days later, she was back to pooping on the floor and stealing baseball caps. 

I tell you these things, because I want you to know that Maggie has a huge personality and I love her very much.  She has been with me 10 years now.  She has lost both her canine teeth, but keeps on chewing.  She is a nervous pee’er.  She is the gray dog of Red Couch + Gray Dog.  She is my Magga-doodle.  She has let a 4 year old dress her and push her around in a stroller.  She has rotten breath.  She is my favorite snuggler.  I promise I love my dog.  I still get tickled by her, like last night when I put her in the fold up cloth kennel and she used it like a hampster ball and used all 10 pounds of her body weight to “roll” it to the bed, determined to be by me.  She loves me too.  Today, however, I did something awful. 

Okay…please don’t judge me. I had a doctors appointment this morning in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. For those of you that are not familiar, this is about 45 miles from Lafayette, Louisiana.  Maggie and I stayed in Baton Rouge with my best friend last night.  Well, of course not to leave Maggie in the summer heat while I was at the doctor I left her at my friends while I was at the doctor, in her “hampster ball.”  The doctors appointment left much to be desired. It was 2 hours of blah…and yada yada.  I get in the car and truly blame a person that shall not be named.  I started chatting and I was sitting in my car for a good 20 minutes.  I checked my work email.  I called my friend.  I chatted.  I was heavily distracted.  Heavily!  I then decided it was time to go.  Tupac came on the radio!  It was time to jam.  So I started hitting the road.  I was pumping fists.  “california, knows how to party….”  Then I was singing to some 4 non-blondes, “What’s going on?!”  I got about oh…20 minutes outside of town…which means I had been driving for a good 30 minutes and went to grab something out of my purse.  Normally I would have to move a dog off my purse on road trips…not this time…she wasn’t there.  Now you would think that it would click as I was putting on the chapstick.  Nope…it wasn’t until I put my hands back on the wheel and started singing the next song.  When I looked in the seat and thought…”Oh, (^*&^(*%(%!!!!”  I just left Baton Rouge, with out my pride and joy.

I turned around, I put a bit more gas in my car(which I realize should not be an issue when you forget your dog-ter in a different city, but it’s black gold yo!) I called my best only to tell her, and for her to laugh at me.  I ran in the house another 45 minutes later, apologizing profusely to my lil’ pup.  She was quite mad I could tell. She kept swinging her butt up against me and such.  She even grunted a couple times.  She was weezing up a storm (note, my dog is lil’ weezey…she weezes all the time.) I am not a bad mom. I love my dog-ter.  I just…forgot.  I was distracted.  {hangs head in shame}

lifetimes of paper rainbows…W


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