Disclaimer: I didn’t originally intend for this post to become so deep, so philosophical, so introspective, but alas it did. So I warn you now, should you not want to hear of my daily battle with myself to be EPIC, turn back now. Should you turn back now, know that I will still adore you just the same, but come back soon, because I have less introspective things planned. lifetimes of paper rainbows…W
I have often spoke of being EPIC. Doing one thing so great that it would be my fingerprint on this world. It would be my defining moment. Over the past few months, God has both humbled me and created a stronger drive for EPIC-ness. I have been researching this art…the art of being EPIC. It has taken me on a journey that is not at all EPIC, but rather ordinary. This is probably a good thing. This desire to be EPIC has always been an idea in my soul and brain, and then I watched Away We Go.
You see much like Burt Farlendar, I believe my children(unborn) deserve some kind of an Epic childhood. Where we have a hallway that hangs all their school art. Where they play dress up and have puppet shows. We have picnics and they fish in little ponds. Where they feed the ducks at the park loaves of bread and throw a handful of food in the lake just so the fish can eat without the fear of being caught. I dream of them learning that butter can be called salve cause that is what their great-grandfather called it. I want them to find a mud pit and realize that they can mold things out of it to bring home. I want them to learn that it’s okay to attempt a double can-opener cannon ball ending with the biggest splash cannon ball off the diving board, because when you get older, you just can’t move that quick in the air. I realized that my dream of being EPIC was growing in my head into not only something that I dreamed of for my children(unborn), but for me too.
Merriam Webster defines EPIC as extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope.
For better and for worse(about 50/50) in my desire for the EPIC I have created awesome and drama–just to experience the EPIC. Looking back, I missed a lot of things along the way. Things that by their very nature were EPIC.
I once sent an envelope of scraps to Travis and told him to create EPIC art. I expected him to cut and paste, but that little bugger didn’t. He used only what I had sent and tied and ripped till he had created a piece of art, that is truly larger than life. He wrote a note on part fo the art. One read in italian, the art of doing nothing. The other is a quick little quip about how our ordinary days were EPIC just because of the characters involved.
This brings me to a “conclusion.” We as humans are blessed with the ability to reason, rationalize, love, feel beyond our natural instinct. To me this seems pretty EPIC. So why oh why do we(and I say we as I know that I am not the only one who wants to look back at her life and think, that was epic) have this bizarre notion that we must try so hard to create the EPIC. Why can we not just practice in the art of doing nothing, and let life happen on life’s terms?
My answer: Because we have an ability to reason, rationalize, love, and feel beyond natural instinct. Because above anything else we as humans were blessed with ego and drive. The desire to be better, stronger, faster often takes front seat to loving selflessly, rational reasoning, and the recognition of true feelings. The ego usually takes a front seat to reality and humility. The fear of mediocre takes the front seat. In that, we achieve EPIC things, but we never quite live EPICALLY.
I will end with a quote I saw yesterday-It is the perfect definition of truly living epically-courage & honesty.
It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are.
lifetimes of paper rainbows…W