(key subject)

mags

{magadoodle happy to have her mom home and waiting for the rain}

This week has been a crazy one.  It has just been very long.  Most of the issues were just me being forgetful and over dramatic. Go figure.  One thing this week has showed me is that I need a word.  I need a concept, a life concept.  I am writing this story of my life and just bouncing randomly.  So I am thinking about my lack of direction, my lack of acceptance of my own destinies and strengths.  I bounce.  I bounce from side to side and up and down.  The problem with this, is that when I bounce really high it means that I fell really hard, and I hold on to the pain that fall caused for way way too long.  So what did this week have to do with all of this?

It started last weekend.  Sunday it rained.  It rained one of those cleansing rains that seems to come down so hard and just tells you to sleep.  It tells you to lie on the couch and not move.  So that is just what I did. I have done nothing of importance in about a week, except make a decision, but that comes later. I go to work and start working on a remodel of a house.  I am listening to music and just focusing on the layers and layers of design ideas.  I am trying to really understand the roof.  Roof design is still one of those concepts that I just really don’t get.  I try really hard, but the angles and such just throw me, but I tried.  Then it was preparing addendums and changes to the bid.  I was mapping out my route to deliver these drawings for Friday. Thursday morning I was told my uncle passed away.  So Friday I squeezed in a half day of deliveries and driving across the lake and across the river and then right back home.  Only to get very very lost in a town, I knew nothing about.  Finally at noon I made it home to head to Jonesboro for my uncle’s funeral.  Through the years I for one reason or another we as a family on this end have grown apart from my aunt and uncle and cousins.  It doesn’t stop the fact that he was an incredibly genuine and gentle man. I think what I held with me about him was the relationship between him and his daughter.  It was so nice to see.  I could feel the heaviness of hearts at the funeral.  His death meant an impromptu trip to Jonesboro, Louisiana.  This is where my mother is from.  It is a small town in north Louisiana.  If you blink you might miss it.  The industry there is logging and the paper mill.  These are a couple pictures of the town:

jonesboro

{Traina’s bakery: sooo good / Jonesboro paper mill, oh the smell / My papaw’s old station}

This little adventure, however unfortunate the reason, provided a lot more than just some random pictures of a town that holds much more than a mill, a bakery, and an abandoned gas station.  It provided me with a a night, a day to think.  Not that I don’t do enough of that already, but I read a lot.  I stayed still a lot.  I made a decision.  A decision that will change the entire course that I have set out for my life.  A decision that will define who I am.  A decision that no one can take away from me.  As soon as I get more figured out, I will share this decision until then, I leave you with tonights bittie art. 

mystory copy

In the mean time, I have lost my car keys.  My only set of car keys.  Please summon the powers to bring them to me, otherwise saturday is a trip to the Honda place for a new set.   So this week I will stare in the mirror and say, “I will find my keys. I will find my keys. I will find my keys.”  Good night world. 

wishing you lifetimes of paper rainbows…W the keyless gal.

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