One time I was at a bar. It was me and Pepper. We were drinking and dancing. Well Pepper was dancing. I was doing something I pretended was dancing. I can’t dance. I had to go pee so bad. — I have a love for Sublime. I can’t help it. Something about them just makes me want to move and sing at the top of my lungs. I love them. I love when I go to a bar and I can sing the cliche’s like “lovin’ is what I got!” — I had to go pee. I am waiting in this line and every girl in the restroom had to check her make up and look at herself in the mirror all while saying, “Uggg, look at how crappy I look.” Where as I wanted to respond, “Well your shorts are up your butt and you are sweating with your mascara down your face not to mention the cigarette ash you got up and down your arm. You are at a corner bar in New Orleans, what did you expect to look like after 6 beers 3 shots?” But what I really said was, “Are you going to go in there or are you just going to ooogle yourself in the mirror?” I went pee, but just as I walk in the stall I hear it, “I ain’t got no Santeria, I ain’t got no crystal ball, I had a million dollars and I, I spent it all!” Really! They couldn’t play it while I was there?! I tell you this only for some insight into my night last night, because it almost happened again.
Ryan Adams show last night. Location: Baton Rouge, LA @ the River Center
Before we went to the show we stopped at a lil’ cantina pub. I got a chalice of Abita AndyGator. (No cousinfriend, I didn’t tell the story of the magical chalice, that was for another night.) I didn’t think about the fact I had 15-20 minutes to drink this. That is hard for me to do, I am a talker ;). So what happens but it is time for us to go. I am not really sure what time it was as, but I knew they were ready to go and I had about a third of my brew left. So I did what any reformed college gal would have done. I took it down. So we start walking. The theater was about 4 blocks, if even, from the pub. We go in and find our seats. We had an interesting crew around us. There was sweaty hair guy. There was tall guy. They were very into the show. Sweatie hair guy was shaking his sweatie hair on all the people in front of him. Tall guy joined. Sweatie hair guy also nicely spilled a bit of his drink on top of someones head. Such a good guy. But alas, I digress. The show was good. Right of bat we had some “Cold Roses” then some “Come Pick Me Up” and “Wonderwall.” Then the AndyGator hit me. I had to piddle.
I waited as long as I could. I had to go…
I am in the restroom and trying to run as fast as I can so I didn’t miss any good stuff. I am walking back when I hear, “This is a song about counting…” So I started counting to the security guard. She was not amused, I was amazed she was like one of those English soldiers that paces back and forth guarding Buckingham Palace, she didn’t even crack a smile, a grimace, she didn’t so much as blink. I was saddened that I couldn’t even make her flinch, but I had to move on, because it was starting. I looked for the my compadres. I found them, just as I heard it “it takes two when it used to take one.” This is numero 2 (ironically) of my top 4 favorite Ryan Adams songs. As Tomato said later on, it is just an organic song. (ironic…but a story for another day) I almost peed through another great song. I would have been heart broken. I made it back just in time to sing along and for us to count randomly upon our hands.
It was too close a call…but history did not repeat itself. Phew. Attached is a rose, just for you my reader.
Paper Rainbows my friends, Paper Rainbows.